by Lon Lindsey

Consider that you reached your goal . . . to be independent of J.O.B. and working from your home full time in a chosen business. Consider that your spouse is also home . . due to your own success in the business or due to a choice that both are to be home. Who is boss? . . or is there a boss? How do you treat your business like a business and share responsibilities?

Kathy Bergstrom of the Des Moines Register wrote an article regarding that and it appeared in our Louisville Courier Journal on 1/11/99 which follows below.

"Business Owned By One Spouse Always Affects The Other"

There is no such thing as "my" business when you're married, Azriela Jaffe believes.

"If you're married and you're in a business, it's going to impact your spouse. It just will, "said the consultant and author of "Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business," a guide for couples.

That's why couples need to set some ground rules and make plans when one or both own a business, Jaffe said.

She owns a coaching and consulting business called Anchored Dreams in Bausman, PA., and counsels entrepreneurial couples.

A common scenerio for spouses who begin working together is that a man starts a business while his wife is raising their children and/or working outside the home, she said. The business becomes so big and active that "he gets this bright idea that everything would be much better if his wife would come work for him."

Her participation allows him to save money and to get rid of some of the tasks he doesn't enjoy. And maybe the couple has dreamed of someday owning a business together.

It might seem like a perfect arrangement, but sometimes "this business is his passion, not hers, and she's actually just an employee," Jaffe said. But unlike other employees, she doesn't receive a salary, performance reviews, raises and other benefits that make her feel valued.

Jaffe said she's seen the scenario in reverse, usually when a husband has retired or has been downsized and starts working for his wife. While problems can arise for men and women, "I do think women have had a tendency to adopt a sort of secondary role," said Mary Korman, a family business consultant with McGladrey & Pullen in Minneapolis.

It's better at the outset to approach the arrangement in a businesslike manner and establish the spouse's title and salary, she said. That means partners must discuss their roles in the business.

Such an arrangement helps the joining partner's self esteem as well as relationships with employees and the other spouse.

It works a lot better if the husband and wife have a joint vision for the business, so that it's not his business and she comes and works for him, but actually it's their business together," Jaffe said.

It also is more successful if the business tasks are divided based on what each partner wants to do.

Jaffe suggests setting up rules for whether the spouse will be treated as an employee or a partner. "If they both understand from the beginning that it's one way or the other, then it's a lot easier."

She usually advises that the spouse joining the business be paid a salary, unless the reason for joining is to save money. If that's the case, it's particularly important for the spouse joining the business to feel like a partner, she said.

That kind of relationship can become a problem if the business is faltering. That can mean that the spouse is not getting paid and no money is coming into the household, either.

If the joining spouse isn't being paid because the business is struggling, Korman said, the business could record her salary as a loan to the business, making sure she is paid back when the business is successful. Couples also should plan for such events as death, divorce or disability, advisers say.

HUSBANDS AND WIVES who aren't involved in their spouse's business are still affected by it, Jaffe said. She describes that the role as the supportive spouse, and it's one she has filled Her husband owned a business and made a decision she didn't agree with.

"It became very clear to me, even though I was impacted, I didn't have any rights as a partner the way a partner really would," she said.

Couples should develop guidelines for when the uninvolved person should have a say in a business decision, Jaffe said.

If she's going to spend more than $250 on an item for her business, she said she consults her husband. They've also agreed to consult with each other on other major changes, such as hiring.

The supportive spouse relationship works best when the business is profitable and not drawing from joint funds, she said.

But it's difficult when a spouse is affected by a business that's losing money and isn't allowed to make any decisions.

Couples get into trouble often because they're naive about how business ownership can affect a marriage, Jaffe said.

"That's what it means to be self employed. You don't leave it at the office when you come home. Entrepreneurship is an obsession. It affects your life and affects your marriage."

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Taken from Louisville Courier Journal of 1/11/99 . . article by Kathy
Bergstrom . .Des Moines Register.
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My comments . . . been there!