by Lon Lindsey

"Oh no, not another one!" "I can't believe you want to do that!" "I thought we agreed, never again, after playing with those circles!" "When are you going to get a real job?" Sound familiar? I've heard it over and over again! Our, initial, biggest obstacle to working a network marketing business could be our spouse. I had one guy tell me on the phone "please don't tell my wife I got in this business because she will beat me if she finds out." It sounds like that guy had more problems than a desire to network!

Notice I didn't say which spouse to win over because I've seen both men and women be against their spouse getting involved in networking. I must admit that I have heard it more from the husbands than the wives (that their wives are not supportive) and I'm not really sure why and even if I knew, I probably wouldn't go there anyway. The main thing is it is a common statement that I hear . . ."my wife just does not support me on my network marketing efforts."

WHAT DO WE MEAN BY SUPPORT?

I think I need to define what we mean by support because there are different levels of support. The definition of "support", by Webster, in the situation I am talking about is "to give courage or faith to; help; comfort; to give approval to; to advocate; to uphold."

So, when we ask for support, we are basically asking for approval or a confirmation of what we are doing. That makes sense because the initial foundation of a new business is the support you get from family and friends. It just makes sense to surround ourselves with people we know when we take on new challenges.

This may sound cruel, but I have found the least amount of support is from family and friends when it comes to networking ventures . . .and I'm not alone! In fact, over and over again I hear of people who get down right discouraged after they tell their family members they are going into business for themselves. That is why I tend to tell people to avoid family members for sharing the business opportunity unless they have the same vision you do. I'm not talking about products at this point . . .only the business itself. That is a sad state when our own family members don't have confidence in us, but the truth is they lack a vision and it is very difficult to even get them to see that! That's why it's called "lack of vision."

TWO TYPES OF SUPPORT

The way I see it, there are two types of spousal support: (1) emotional; (2) active.

Emotional support is the encouragement and approval you get from your spouse. Active support is taking the emotional support a step further and actually participating in the business building activities with you.

Most often, all is being asked is emotional support from a spouse . . Just knowing that they endorse what you do gives you the confidence to go out and do it. It would be nice to also have active support . . . .actual participation in the business with you, but that might not happen. We have to watch out and make sure we don't condemn ourselves and predict failure just because our spouses does not actively participate. I, personally, struggled with that for years. Although my wife supported me emotionally, she didn't get into what I considered really supporting me by doing and I inwardly held that against her. But, I was wrong because it happened to be my interest, my passion and not hers even though she wished me well.

Lack of active support might be discouraging, but it should not be enough to keep you from working at building your business. Lack of emotional support is much harder to deal with . .especially if you are actually put down and degraded for what you are doing.

TURNING THINGS AROUND

There is hope and there is a way to turn things around. It has to do with being able to improve your lifestyle to the point that your spouse even notices a difference. Here are some suggestions on how you can do that:

(1) Choose a legitimate product oriented company that you can feel good about . . .one that has enough products that both you and your spouse can enjoy.

(2) Get products from your own company that your spouse will enjoy. Pamper him/her! I'm with a product oriented company that has products that would be fun to do this with. For instance, it would be easy for me to order some cocoa mixes and fix my wife hot chocolate and have a special quiet time with her . . . or how about ordering the laundry products and doing the wash for her . . . .or how about surprising her with an aromatherapy candle and essential oils for message . . . or surprise her with a sauce made out of a soup base. I think you get the idea. Doing things like that could be making a lifestyle change. It sends a strong message that the business is "us" not "me".

(3) Go to the annual company convention, but take your spouse also and treat it as a vacation. Perhaps schedule a full week vacation . . three or four days at the convention and three or four days somewhere else in the area. The purpose of taking your spouse to the convention is to bring the company alive . . . making it real . . .showing how legitimate the business really is. Another reason for taking your spouse to the convention is so he/she can meet others who are already experiencing the lifestyle . . .making new friends. For me, this is what made my wife an active supporter of mine. It brought the business to life and made a statement that this business is legitimate and a real business.

(4) Share your rewards, accomplishments, earnings with your spouse just as if he/she earned them him/herself. It will make your spouse feel important and will show him/her that this really is a business.

(5) Talk about your business occasionally, but do not dominate all your conversations with business. If he/she sees the business as being more important than him/her, then he/she will resent the business.

(6) If the company offers any free travel incentives, do what you can to earn those. I remember when I earned a FREE all expenses paid trip to Puerta Vallerta for my wife and me, that really clinched it for me. My wife was able to be around other successful people and she saw how the company did things first class. It truly is a wonderful way to convince even the least supporters that you really are in a legitimate business and you do have more than a vision . . you have a new lifestyle in mind.

In summary, I can honestly say that it is possible to build a business without active support and even without emotional support, but it takes time to turn things around by doing the things I mentioned above. Whatever you do, don't let the business become a priority over the time you and your spouse have together or you will end up fighting another battle.